I’m sitting in an EasyJet lounge at Nice Airport, waiting for a 7pm flight to Paris. And to borrow a Tom Cruise line from Sydney Pollack‘s The Firm, I feel like I’ve been anally ravaged by an elephant.

I’ve just paid luggage fees to EasyJet to the tune of 182 euros, and that’s after pre-paying baggage fees online when I first bought my Nice-to-Paris Orly ticket. I have two modest-sized bags that weighed too much so I had to pay for the overage — 14 euros per kilo or 82 euros. And then they made me go back and pay for my carry-on bag, which cost another 100 euros. Repeating: 100 euros for a carry-on bag weighing 10 pounds!

When I fly in the states I don’t count my shoulder bag as a carry-on — it’s just a bag carrying my two computers. My carry-on is the smallish satchel containing clothes or what-have-you, and it always goes into the overhead compartment and nobody ever says squat. But here they go, “Monsieur! Monsieur! You may only have one carry-on bag, not two. You must pay for the second one.” 100 euros for a small 10 lb. bag? 182 euros is more than double what the flight itself cost.