9:15 pm update: I was surprised to discover this evening that a good portion of Len Wiseman’s Ballerina is actually kick–asserino…enjoyably engaging, I mean, during the snowy second half. (The first half is mostly a generic origin story.)
I take it back about Wiseman being an “animal” as Ballerina is much better directed than expected, effectively shot and often witty (the action choreography rivals the wit of Buster Keaton here and there) and at times is actually funny — two or three times I yaw-hawed out loud and once I slapped my thigh with enthusiasm.
Ana de Armas is playing Eve Macarro, a major badass, of course, but not a superwoman — she’s believably vulnerable throughout and gets slugged and slammed around quite a bit.
John Wick: “You killed my dog!” Eve Maccaro: “You killed my daddy!”
There’s an especially funny bit when Eve shoves a hand grenade into a bad guy’s mouth and then traps him behind a door and then BLAM-SPLATTER-GLOPPITY!!! Blood and brain matter all over the place….hair on the walls!!
And the duelling flamethrower finale is magnificent! Roast those ayeholes! They’re all disposable meat hunks….nothing but flame–broiled chickens…gaaaahhh!!
As with all previous John Wick films, Ballerina‘s theme and tone are completely divorced from any sort of humanitarian mindfulness…what am I even talking about? This is a movie that says “embrace your inner sociopath.”
And while Anjelica Huston‘s Prizzi’s Honor voice is recognizable (“So, Charlie…ya wanna do it?”), she’s been surgically transformed in such a way that I couldn’t quite get a handle on the situation. As the “Director“, AH is in league with Gabriel Byrne ‘s “Chancellor“. My initial reaction was “well, Gabe has obviously aged but at least he semi–resembles the Usual Suspects or In Treatment guy.”
I can’t believe I’m saying this but I had a fairly rousing time during Ballerina‘s second hour. It’s like a sadistic video game with a wicked sense of humor, made by a team of truly sick fucks with a dark–eyed, no-longer-a-spring-chicken human being (de Armas is 37) at the center of the action.
Earlier today: Tom Cruise is not doing Len Wiseman‘s Ballerina (Lionsgate, 6.6) any favors by (heh-heh) praising it.
We know Cruise has chosen his own films very carefully over the last 45 years, and that a John Wick-ian action film by an obvious animal like Weisman…we know that Cruise would never star in a film of this calibre for fear of damaging his brand. [6.3 update: Wiseman is not an animal.]
We also know that his praise is generally insincere or at least partial because he’s been (heh-heh) “doing” Ana de Armas over the last few months so c’mon…why say anything about this obviously coarse, low-rent film?
Before yesterday’s Ballerina premiere de Armas called Cruise’s recent public support for the film “unbelievable“….that’s right, it IS unbelievable!
“But you know what, he supports every movie,” de Armas went on. “He really wants the industry and cinema to do well and [get] people going to the theaters. We’re working together, so he got to see Ballerina and he actually really liked it…he loved the John Wicks.”
Bullshit! Wick-y flicks like Ballerina (which I’m actually going to see in a couple of hours) are slick garbage…cancer pills…soul destroyers. C’mon, we know this going in.
From Owen Gleiberman’s Variety review:
