But you can’t make him drink. Or, in Shia LaBeouf’s case, not drink.

The poor guy was arrested in Savannah around 4 am this morning “after he was caught causing a drunken commotion in City Market downtown,” according to Variety. Hey, I know the City Market area pretty well! Festive, touristy. If I was still a drinking man I would probably adore Savannah on a whole ‘nother level.

Whatever Labeouf’s enjoyment levels were last night, they plummeted when he was put in a cell around 4 or 5 am this morning. He made bail around 11 am.

“The Transformers star first began making a scene when he asked a bystander and an officer if they had any cigarettes to spare,” the report reads. “Upon their refusal, Lebeouf ‘became disorderly, using profanities and vulgar language in front of the women and children present,’ says the SCMPD. ‘He was told to leave the area and refused, becoming aggressive toward the officer. LaBeouf then ran to a nearby hotel, where he was eventually apprehended inside the lobby.’

It was apparent to me nine years ago that Lebeouf had a problem that needed addressing. I had a brief discussion with him about “the program” during an Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crustal Skull party at the 2008 Cannes Film Festival. Excerpt: “I told LeBeouf he looked great also, adding — this was a minor mistake — that the program obviously agreed with him. ‘The program?,’ he asked. ‘Yeah,’ I said. ‘AA, no? I read you’d gone into the program after the Chicago Walmart bust.’ ‘Nope…no program…just livin’ my life,’ he replied.”

Two months later Leboeuf was popped for a misdemeanor DUI following a 3 am car-banger in Hollywood.

People with alcohol issues have to turn the corner on their own. It took me decades to get there. I was never a stumbling-around drunk — I always wrote, functioned, got up early, worked hard — but my life would’ve turned out that much better, I suspect, if I’d embraced sobriety earlier. Right around my ’91 divorce, say. But back then my attitude was “I don’t have a problem and I enjoy moderate imbibing.” Deep down I agreed 100% with a P.J. O’Rourke statement I’d read in the late ’80s: “Life would be unbearable without alcohol.” Little did I know.