Nobody is a more passionate fan of Olivia Colman than myself, but she’s just not young or hot enough to play Benedict Cumberbatch‘s wife in The Roses (Searchlight, 8.29).

The 51-year-old Colman is only a year and a half older than Cumberbatch, but she looks…okay, not like his aunt but his slightly older attorney or business partner. She doesn’t look wifey-wifey.

When it comes to marriage, men who are doing well professionally always choose someone younger and hotter (i.e., arm-candy factor). Okay, some marry women their own age but if they do, the women are always significantly more attractive than the man, according to boilerplate male hotness standards. Regardless of age, the wife never looks older and is always hotter than the husband.

This was true of the dynamic between Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner in the original The War of the Roses (’89). Turner was and is a decade younger than Douglas, and pretty much looked like her Body Heat self in that Danny DeVito-directed 20th Century Fox release.