The Manhattan-Brooklyn-Bronx-Queens parallels hold water for the most part, but the Eagle Rock, La Canada, Altadena and Pasadena territories should have been labelled as Westchester County or maybe Long Island. And the flush Woodland Hills, Tarzana, Hidden Hills, Calabasas and Malibu Canyon regions are hardly analogous to Staten Island. New Jersey (Morris, Somerset and Union counties) would have been more like it.

Remember that prurient Cool Hand Luke scene with the hot blonde soapy-sudsing her car in front of the sweaty convicts? I’ll bet that was the inspiration for this British piece of shit, which came along four years later in ‘71.

This was a win. Fencing and snarling and pushing back on principle (“This is a democracy!”) inside the lion’s den…steel and balls.

Kamala Harris: Bret, I’m sorry and with all due respect, that clip was not what he has been saying about the enemy within that he has repeated when he is speaking about the American people. That's not what you just showed.”

pic.twitter.com/TGPHYZGcvb

— Acyn (@Acyn) October 16, 2024

…and nothing Bobby Peru or anyone else in the “Conclave is too commercial for awards consideration” fraternity can say or do will change this all-but-unalterable fact.

Fiennes has been plugging away for 30 years and no serious awards action to speak of. He’s earned it, he’s “due” and that’s final.

Not now, not in the 1950s…not ever. What is Dr. Benjamin McKenna (James Stewart) trying to prove to all those Moroccan natives that he and his wife Jo (Doris Day) are running into? What is he so afraid of? Why is he wound so tight?

McKenna: “We may be in a land of camels and snake charmers and marketplaces in the medina, but we intend to talk, behave and dress like stodgy, uptight middle-Americans regardless…no sport shirts or safari jackets or desert boots…no apparel that might seem the least bit relaxed…nothing even vaguely North African.”

Burly, bellowing Ward Bond never got the girl, and certainly never had the slightest chance of scoring with anyone in the sexual realm of Gene Tierney.

On top of which Tobacco Road, a 1940 John Ford film that I’ve never even seen, was shot in black-and-white. So what is this?

Look at all those #1 votes for Zoe Saldana!

She’s such an overwhelming favorite for Best Supporting Actress right now that Academy voters are going to decide early on that one acting Oscar is enough for Emilia Perez, which will leave Karla Sofía Gascón with the short end of the stick.

Saldana, trust me, plays the actual lead in Emilia Perez. Gascon’s titular character is an “almost” lead or a strong supporting role, but Netflix is campaigning her for Best Actress as a trans identity thing.

Aunjanue Ellis-Taylor (Nickel Boys) will probably earn a Best Supporting Actress nomination.

Ted Cruz is obviously going to win….c’mon. Plus Allred, no offense, looks a little bit like James Arness in The Thing.

HE comment: Excellent keyboarding from a great, soulful composer, but I’m sorry to note that “Wichita Lineman” is beyond Jimmy Webb’s vocal grasp at this point in time. Maybe it always was. Webb was never a proper singer, of course. Bringing vocal justice to “is still on the line” was a tough one even for Glenn Campbell in his prime.

Plus I’d be lying if I said I’m not vaguely disturbed by the standard signs of aging (girth factor, bald spot, neck wattle). HE’s Prague guys could fix Webb right up, no prob.

I saw Webb perform at a special tribute show at the Wiltern in the early ‘90s. (Or was it sometime in the ‘80s?) Johnny Rivers, The Fifth Dimension, etc.

Plus driving all the way down to San Juan Capistrano on the hellish 405? If you do that drive at the wrong time of day it’s absolutely ghastly. What’s the right time of day? Anytime between 11 pm and 6 am.

Guy Lodge has called it — gay guys are contemplating (if not giving full consideration to) the muscular erotic allure of Paul Mescal’s Lucius in Ridley Scott’s Gladiator II (Paramount, 11.22)

HE has been acknowledging the Gladiator sequel gay subtext for a while now. Last July I tapped out the following:

In elite polls posted by The Gatecrashers (just went up!) and GoldDerby.com, Sean Baker‘s Anora is decisively the most favored Best Picture nominee, if not (go for it!) the most likely winner of the 2025 Best Picture Oscar.

Out of 12 Gate Crashers contributors, Anora has five #1 votes, Conclave has 2 votes in this exalted category, and Dune II and Emilia Perez have one each.

Out of 28 Gold Derby contributors Anora has tallied ten first-place rankings — the highest percentage of all the Best Picture contenders.

The second–place Emilia Perez, favored by trans identity celebrationists, is supported by seven GD contributors. Conclave has four #1 rankings, and The Brutalist (which Oscar-wise you can totally forget about right now) has three.

Anora director Sean Baker is the top contender in the helmer category.

Anora‘s Mikey Madison is the top vote-getter in the Best Actress, maintaining a decisive lead over Emilia Perez‘s Karla Sofia Gascón. Madison has the Best Actress Oscar in the bag. Don’t even think about it. In the woke ballyhoo tradition of Lily Gladstone, Gascon’s campaign is one-third about artistic merit, two-thirds about identity.

Right now Conclave‘s Ralph Fiennes is the leading Best Actor contender on both charts.

Also on both charts, A Real Pain‘s Kieran Culkin is the dominant contender for Best Supporting Actor realm.

Another noteworthy blast (certainly as far as The Gatecrashers is concerned) is the absolute Best Supporting Actress dominance of Zoe Saldana in Emilia Perez. Saldana is slightly ahead of The Piano Lesson‘s Danielle Deadwyler on the GD chart.

Here’s a bare-bones intro penned by Sasha Stone on the Gatecrashers front page: