Posted a little more than 15 years ago (i.e., 6.19.07):

Jett and I were at a Carl’s, Jr. around 1:15 pm today, and there were about 25 or more Latino kids there, and every last one was either bulky, chunky, over-fed or fat.

I was watching a Braves-Red Sox game yesterday on ESPN, and I was struck by two Atlanta pitchers — one who was relieved in the ninth inning, and the guy who relieved him — who were both pretty big…barrel-chested, round faces, Babe Ruth-ish.

Earlier this month Jett and I stayed for two nights at a youth hostel in Positano, Italy, and I noticed several zaftig American college-age girls…female Seth Rogens with surprisingly large girths.

“What’s with all the pot bellies on the girls?” I asked Jett. “If you’re going to be in great shape, there’s no better time than your early 20s.” Jett, about to start his sophomore year at Syracuse University, laughed and said, “All college girls look like that…well, almost all of them. It’s college and all those fatty foods.”

I don’t think it’s college as much as good old American sloth. This is not my usual-usual — this country is getting fatter and fatter. I know, I know…who cares? Order another whopper, have some more fries, turn on the tube.

Were the Greeks fat? Were the Romans waddling around like Jabbas in togas? What great civilizations have had populations who were this roley-poley? It’s another sign of the wind-down of the American empire.

If the ghost of Julius Caesar were to visit this country, he would take one look and sneer, “These people aren’t warriors or conquerors…look at them! They’re cattle!”

To hear it from Variety‘s Owen Gleiberman, Barbie director Greta Gerwig managed to transform the material “into an exuberant jokey carnival of fourth-wall-breaking doll’s-house-as-rabbit-hole feminist surrealism — a candy-colored Dreamhouse burlesque that adores Barbie and resents her at the same time.”

He also notes that Barbie “tweaks the patriarchy even as it treats Ken as the film’s most complicated character, and that has the wit to recognize that Barbie isn’t just a plaything [but] a metaphysical projection of feminine ideals who also has the effect of undermining who women are.”

Having seen Barbie last Thursday and having immediately tapped out my reactions (“Undisciplined Barbie Gush“), I was naturally expecting to see something more plain-spoken than “tweaks the patriarchy.” I was actually hoping to see words that actually apply. Words like “misandrist” or “misandry”, I mean.

Gleiberman does have a tendency to lay it on the line, after all. He’ll use diplomatic phrasing, of course, but if an apple tree is full of ripe green (as opposed to red) apples, he’ll say that for the most part.

Well, not this time as neither term was used. “There must be some mistake,” I told myself. Then I realized there was no percentage in being overly candid about Barbie. It had become too big of a hit, too much of an earthquake. I get it — it’s celebration time. If I was a hotshot critic for a major publication I’d probably play my cards this way also.

Telluride ‘23 certainly has the gay pathfinder biopic genre covered.

We’re talking two films about older gay people accomplishing something exceptional in the face of great difficulty or adversity — Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin‘s Nyad, a “you go, girl!” drama about 60ish long-distance swimmer Diana Nyad, and George Wolfe‘s Rustin, about gay civil rights activist Bayard Rustin (1912-1987).

The latter film is produced by Michelle and Barack Obama‘s Higher Ground Productions.

Because Rustin is (a) about a Black gay activist and (b) emanating from the Obamas (will they attend Telluride’s opening-day brunch?) it will be hailed in progressive showbiz circles as close to the Second Coming, plus star Colman Domingo (whom I’ve always liked) will be pushed as a Best Actor contender, and who will argue against this?

Being gay isn’t a political ideology, although it’s certainly a “yay-yay” thing in progressive circles. Highlighting and promoting gay bravery and assertiveness as the absolutely glorious and wonderful things they are because we all need make a really big positive deal out of gay characters whenever and however they appear, especially at Telluride with the Obamas present…that’s the political side of things.

All I know is that apart from Alexander Payne‘s The Holdovers, the two films I was really excited about catching at Telluride are (or were, I should say) Woody Allen‘s Coup de Chance, which of course won’t play there because of the Stalinist refusenik Woody haters, and Tran Anh Hung’s The Pot au Feu, which I praised during the 2023 Cannes Film Festival and would absolutely love to re-watch in the Rockies.

I wept when I learned that IFC Films and Sapan Studios have acquired Tran Anh Hung’s foodie masterpiece. I don’t know for a fact that The Pot au Feu will be absent from Telluride, but IFC Films distribution deals have always been tantamount to a kiss of death. It’s certainly a guarantee that a first-rate, ecstatically reviewed European film will not be vigorously publicized and hooplah-ed.

What IFC Films seems to do, in fact, is acquire exciting, critically hailed titles only to suffocate and bury them. The Pot au Feu hasn’t been announced as a Toronto Film Festival title either. Things could always turn for the better but right now IFC Film’s Scott Shooman is the apparent villain in this scenario.

Between the certain absence of Coup de Chance, the feared absence of The Pot au Feu and the SAF/AFTRA strike restrictions, my expectations for Telluride ’23 are dimming by the moment.

I was hoping that Bradley Cooper‘s Maestro (Netflix) might appear at Telluride….nope! The word on the street is that it will debut at the New York Film Festival.

I was hoping that Ridley Scott‘s Napoleon (Apple/Sony, 11.22) might debut at Telluride….nope!

I would also love to see Roman Polanski‘s The Palace….nope! Bad person, suppress his film (a black comedy) at all costs, etc.

I’m despairing and downhearted. My spirit is leaking out of me like sand. Whatta bummer, man.

The Telluride Film Festival is in the best position of all the early fall film festivals as it has no red carpet or paparazzi presence, and so the SAG/AFTRA strike won’t be as much of a hindrance as it will be for the Venice and Toronto festivals.

I’m not 100% certain what this Duncan Crabtree-Ireland statement (from Sean McNulty’s 7.24 Ankler column) means but it seems to indicate that there might be a little leeway in the matter of actors promoting product at fall festivals, at least as far as “independent” films (like Woody Allen’s Coup de Chance?) are concerned.

Jordan Ruimy informs that Telluride had been planning a special Annette Bening career tribute, which would have included a special screening of Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi and Jimmy Chin‘s Nyad, a “you go, girl!” drama about 60ish long-distance swimmer Diana Nyad, which Netflix will distribute. Nyad will apparently debut at Telluride, but no Bening tribute unless the strike is settled. Jodie Foster (as Nyad’s partner Bonnie Stoll) and Rhys Ifans costar.

HE to Jamie Foxx: You’re mostly recovered & out of the woods…great. But what happened, bruh? Did you have the sniffles or a fever and then it got out of hand? Were you stabbed by your wife? Did you accidentally swallow a pellet of plutonium? Did gangbangers shoot you down in a hail of bullets?

🔥🚨Breaking: Jamie Foxx speaks for the first time following medical scare. pic.twitter.com/ShjvoBFocw

— Dom Lucre | Breaker of Narratives (@dom_lucre) July 22, 2023

Yesterday afternoon Jeff and Saha discussed the Barbenheimer Bait & Switch — the two films having been sold as one thing only to reveal their true colors during actual screenings.

Hey, maybe it’s me. I mean, maybe I’m a little fucked up or something. But yesterday’s HE comment thread consensus seems to be (a) yes, no film in Hollywood history has conveyed such a high degree of misandrist contempt for straight white dudes (men of color and mixed ethnicity being, of course, not only blameless but glorious), and yet (b) none of this matters because Barbie is a huge hit so all those grumpy misogynist dissers are the problem, not the film itself.

Do I have this right? Toxic gender-hate cinema is totally fine as long as it’s popular?

Again, the link.