This melancholy, too, shall pass. (Or will it?) Until two nights ago the Soderbergh Oscars (April’21) were the absolute worst from an atmospheric or theological perspective. But from this perspective the Everything Everywhere All At Once Oscars, though “joyous and celebrative” within their own realm, seemed like the gloomiest of all time.
All Quiet on the Western Front and The Whale aside, it’s not just the quality of the winners but the quality of the Academy voters. No wise perspective or aesthetic backbone to speak of, carried aloft by waves of social-media whimsy, etc.
“Diversifying membership [and] recalibrating how votes are counted…these changes have transformed the Hollywood Oscars to the International Oscars. I rather like the provincial origins of the Oscars: Hollywood coming together to celebrate its own. Most filmmaking nations — Britain, France, Germany — have their national awards; the festivals have their awards. Why must Hollywood be Colpo Grosso?
“Barry Diller is right. If the Oscars are to save themselves they must return to their origins. Infra-industry celebrations.”
And the Academy left Paul Sorvino out of the Death Reel for what reason again? There were at least four or five departed faces that I didn’t recognize last night. Everyone knows Sorvino’s “Paulie” in Goodfellas…c’mon. Sorvino was 40 or 41 during filming; 34 or 35 during filming of The Gambler.
The attitude any nominee should bring to the Oscar ceremony is (a) “I’m not expecting to win”, (b) “just being nominated was great” and (c) “if I lose, I’m going to be gracious.” Angela Bassett definitely didn’t do (c). She had to know in her heart of hearts that she her Wakanda queen performance was too one-note, too “my son is dead!”, too strident.
N.Y. Times reporter Brooks Barnes, 3.13.23: “The 2022 show drew 16.6 million viewers, the second-worst turnout on record after the pandemic-affected 2021 telecast. If the Nielsen ratings do not improve, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences faces a financial precipice: Most of its revenue comes from the sale of broadcasting rights to the show. Hundreds of millions of dollars are at stake. The most-viewed Oscars telecast was in 1998, when 57.2 million people watched Titanic win the trophy for best picture.”
You can tell right away that Rob Marshall‘s The Little Mermaid (Disney, 5.26) is over-acted and physically exaggerated. Plus King Triton (Javier Bardem) speaks with a Spanish accent and his daughter Ariel (Halle Bailey) sounds like a girl from suburban Georgia. I thought it odd last night when the Oscars suddenly devolved into a Little Mermaid infomercial.
The ET Canada guy who wrote the caption for this YouTube clip, captured during the 2017 New York Fashion Week, called Carrey's remarks "bizarre." This is what's wrong with people in general. Step outside the usual conversation boundaries or reach inward a little bit, and they think you're weird.
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It’s not my idea and I really don’t want to do this. I’ve never thrown axes before and I don’t want to learn. The idea is to share in some guy activity but axes are too macho, too Mel Gibson. I’d rather go bowling. That’s kind of a Bill Murray or a Jack Nicholson thing, no? Plus I like wearing those bacteria-spray bowling shoes. I wouldn’t mind going to a rifle range and shooting AK-47s. Or playing miniature golf.
Look at the people in this photo — they’re all drinking beer, all the guys have facial hair, none of the women are unusually attractive and they’re all laughing too loudly. This is obviously a Millennial and Zoomer thing. Three of the guys are wearing plaid shirts — I wouldn’t wear a short-sleeved flannel shirt with a knife at my back.
I’m more of a semi-cultivated, Italian T-shirt, X-factor type. I don’t want to fantasize about being Kirk Douglas in The Vikings or Alexander Skarsgard in The Northman.
HE to burythehatchet management — I’m probably the only guy who’s ever visited your establishment who’s actually met and hung with Douglas (three times). After interviewing him on the El Paso set of Eddie Macon’s Run in ’82, he gave me a lift to Houston on his private jet.
Randy Newman: “I ain’t sayin’ I’m better than you are, but maybe I am.”
…and in its place a new religion, a Maoist DEI sociology cult that isn’t especially interested in the art and transcendence of movies as much as the social function of them…a serious lack of interest in movies that try to effectively tell human stories that connect on some primal level…movies that reach out to average viewers and establish bonds of recognition by making basic sense and cohering and elevating and translating into experiences that matter on some fundamental level.
Last night’s Oscar telecast was celebrative and joyous in many ways, but it felt more like a political rally than a church service… the big movies were all about celebrating off-center identities and allegiances…movies about diversity, equity and inclusion…an Asian-American family that feels just as trapped as the rest of us, and a human walrus whose struggle to understand and bleed over into his estranged daughter’s life, and finally to forgive himself…the films that tried to connect on the strength of their stories and characters weren’t really happening. BrendanGleeson fiddle player in The Banshees of Inisherin was not, by my yardstick, rationally motivated.
What last night’s Oscars were telling me over and over was that Movie Catholicism as many of us have understood that term…that Classic Movie Catholicism is over. It’s no longer about how good a film might be or how deeply it might reach out and touch a single viewer…what matters to the New Academy Kidz (a term that I began to use sometime in ’17) is representation, representation and representation.
Posted on 2.26.18: Vulture‘s Kyle Buchanan, Stacey Wilson Hunt and Chris Lee have posted a piece about the views and attitudes of the Academy’s new voters, all of whom were invited to join the Academy over the last two years and who constitute roughly 17% or 18% of the present membership. Of the 14 members interviewed, more than half were women and more than a third were people of color.
By all means read the piece, but I for one found it surprising if not shocking that the biggest concerns of the New Academy Kidz appear to be representation, representation and….uhhm, oh, yes…representation.
In other words, after reading the article I wasn’t persuaded that these guys are greatly concerned with the idea of honoring great cinema according to standards that have been accepted for many decades. Tastes have changed but regard for cinema art never faltered. Until now, that is.
If these 14 Academy members were to sit down for a round-table discussion with the ghosts of James Agee, Ernst Lubitsch, Katharine Hepburn, Pauline Kael, Samuel Fuller, Ida Lupino, Irving Thalberg, Luis Bunuel, Sergei Eisenstein, Marlon Brando, F. W. Murnau, Andrew Sarris and Marlene Dietrich, I don’t think there’d be any kind of meeting of the minds. Or not much of one.
I mainly got the idea that the New Academy Kidz are heavily invested in (a) inter-industry politics, and (b) a mission of bringing about long-overdue change and the necessity of advancing diverse representation as well as the concerns of women in all branches of the film industry. They’re also hoping to weaken or otherwise diminish the power of the old white fuddy-dud boomers.
“It’s a bit cheeky to say ‘never ever again’ (because who the hell knows), but yeah, in this particular cultural moment it is all about Tribal Identity. And what’s disturbing is, we have a whole generation now for whom Tribal representation is, to use one critic’s word, numinous. The under-40 crowd has invested Race, Gender and Sexuality with a kind of cosmic significance. It doesn’t mean a lot to them — it means everything to them. Indeed, much of their conversation and writing seems to always come back to it.”
The Robert Blake omission in last night’s “In Memoriam” segment raises a basic question about standards and reputations and sliding scale wokeness calls. Blake was an excellent, highly significant actor who most likely arranged to have his wife shot…probably. But he was not only ignored last night but made into a figure of macabre amusement.
And what about Paul Sorvino by the way? And poor Anne Heche? And Tom Sizemore?
Cutting to the chase, how will the Oscar producers respond when Woody Allen dies? They CAN’T ignore him like they did Blake, but any fair and comprehensive assessment of Allen’s career demands some kind of a special farewell tribute…he was huge and important…a major wise man, funny man and social commentator…an artist whose work brilliantly channelled and reflected the moral and sexual mores of the ’70s, ’80s and ’90s, for sure.
But how will the Oscar producers actually handle his passing? I suspect they’ll sidestep the meaning of it all…I think they’ll blow off the special tribute and just slip him in with the others. Because anyone who’s been accused or convicted of anything…the unseemly label always sticks.
What do you think will actually happen?
How will Oscar prducersy handle Roman Polanski‘s passing? A special tribute, which in my mind would be a fairly necessary call, or some some kind of generic mention within a usual-usual “In Memoriam”reel?
How will they handle the passing of Harvey Weinstein? Will they ignore his death outright? How could they do that? He was too big of a force, too much of a collossus. But they might.
...of the woman who wore that sizable, cloud-sized white headdress...the woman who decided not to remove it after sitting down and thereby blocked the view of at least two or three people sitting behind her, if not a couple of more. Who would do that? Who would decide that "my somewhat flamboyant fashion statement, worn proudly inside the the Dolby / Kodak, has to take precedence over basic politeness...nothing else matters"?
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Friendo of friendo with HE edits and add-ons: “Worst-ever year for movies produces worst-ever Oscar results, although it’s not as if they didn’t have better options to vote for.
“After years of spreading their awards around, the Academy has showered a piece of multiverse Marvel mulch with seven (7) Oscars…the membership changes of recent years are also now showing a different motivation among the members. Fraser, Yeoh, Curtis and even Ke Huy Quan are all the beneficiaries of DEI sentimentality and general emotional cappuccino froth over real coffee and perceptive judgment.”
HE hat-tip for “conkirk” epitaph (with minor edits): “The more I think about it, the more I laugh. Top Gun: Maverick was really normie heaven, and represented everything that made most people feel good about movies. The oldsters loved the genteel (except for the bloody finger stubs) and traditional Banshees. The younger generation loves Elvis. (Rght?) Cineastes are obsessed with Tar, and plebs anxious about World War 3 are gripped by All Quiet on Western Front.
“So the rubes tune in and watch their favorite films lose as they listen to some director extolling the virtues of drag shows for children, and all of their suspicions about Hollywood and the Oscars were confirmed. This was the last straw for normies and mainstream audiences, I suspect. They will completely give up.
As someone said, this is not an event with any relationship to us, or even worthy of attention anymore. It exists in its own realm, for an insular, shrinking group. The ratings in future years will stay in the cellar region, as award shows get smaller and smaller.”
11:43pm: It’s been suggested that instead of reporting the truth (i.e., internet outage) that I say I turned off the Oscars 20 minutes before they ended in a state of anger and disgust. Which I didn’t do, although it kinda sounds good. All is lost. Nothing but pain, lethargy, despair and all of that good downer stuff. Academy voters are the Bubble People — the actual reality of things, the real state of cinema and how real-world people regard it, is a whole ‘nother thing.
11:26pm: Strange as this may seem, the cable has blanked out and I have nothing but Twitter and the trades to rely upon for news of the final Oscar outcome. But a filmmaker friend has just written me: “The death of cinema.” The EEAAO baddies have stormed the Bastille. “Because I used to love her, but it’s all over now.” Identity, narrative, sentiment. Except for All Quiet on the Western Front, true quality took a back seat.
10:55 pm: M. M. Keeravani, RRR‘s music composer (otherwise known to rubes as the bald, fat, bearded, happy guy) singing the Carpenters’ “Top of the World” as part of his acceptance speech for the Best Song Oscar…a very special moment. I mean this. I felt glad for him, for everyone.
10:46 pm: “Anyone who wants Robert Blake to be included in the ‘In Memoriam’ segment, text your assent.” Or words to that effect.
10:38 pm: The Daniels (Kwan, Scheinert) have won Best Original Screenplay for EEAAO. Bad sign, dark omen, clouds forming. And Women Talking wins for Best Adapted Screenplay — predicted and presumed by nearly everyone. Friendo: “With EEAAO winning Best Original Screenplay, I’m afraid it’s over, Jeff. FUCK FUCK FUCK…Martin McDonaugh should’ve won for Best Original.”
10:25 pm: The Cocaine Bear promotion (two appearances) is very strange considering that the film is utterly silly….a low-grade exploitation film if I ever saw one. And it gets a big friendly push from the Oscars, allegedly a celebration of movie excellence?
10:14 pm: Friendo: “All Quiet winning yet another tech Oscar is a good sign. If it wins Best Adapted Screenplay, it could win Best Picture.”
10:08 pm: All Quiet wins the Best Production Design Oscar.
9:59 pm: Lady Gaga (zero makeup, torn jeans) singing the nominated Top Gun: Maverick song was the second best moment of the telecast.
9:54 pm: The show is now two hours old, and here’s the one thing I haven’t yet posted: “The makeup / Best Actor Oscars often go together, so Brendan Fraser takes the Best Actor Oscar.”
9:41 pm: As expected, Edward Berger‘s All Quiet on the Western Front takes Best Int’l Feature Oscar. Fine, deserved…but I would’ve voted for Lukas Dhont‘s Close.
9:34 pm: Hands down, the RRR musical dance number (“Naatu Naatu”) was the single best moment of the show so far.
9:27 pm: Best Costume Oscar goes to Black Panther: Wakanda Forever? Really? Why?
9:18 pm: Brendan Fraser‘s fat suit wins the Best Makeup Oscar. First-rate work, deeply unpleasant to contemplate.
9:05 pm: All Quiet on the Western Front wins Best Cinematography Oscar. Good call. No issues. Well deserved.
8:35 pm: EEAAO‘s Jamie Lee Curtis wins for Best Supporting Actress? Congrats, I guess, but this, for me, is the worst possible outcome in this category. JLC was overbearing and over-everything in EEAAO, and for me no fun at all. Loud, broad, bold caps. I get it, I get it…this is a career tribute award, but she hasn’t been in a decent film in decades…not since True Lies. This award has nothing to do with quality of performance. Nothing to do wit “standards,” as most people understand and respect them.
8:30 pm: EEAAO‘s Ke Huy Quan wins Best Supporting Actor…huge non-surprise. Congrats but calm down, dude…stop crying…you knew this was locked for several weeks. Everyone did.
8:10 pm: Excellent Nicole Kidman held hostage by AMC joke, Jimmy. James Cameron, “the Avatar guy who hasn’t been mominated for a Best Director Oscar” or words to that effect….what do they think he is, a woman?” Great Will Smith vs. crisis team joke!
5:15 Pacific: Said it earlier; repeating for emphasis — Hollywood Elsewhere wants (a) the Everything Everywhere All At Once wins kept to a minimum and (b) at least one HE fave (Kerry Condon, say) to win in their category.
Otherwise this is going to be a bit of a misery slog for me, and for people burdened with classic taste in movies. (We are legion!) The show hasn’t even begun and I’m already drowning in weltschmerz. For me the happiest Oscar show was 20 years ago when Roman Polanski‘s The Pianist starting whipping Chicago‘s ass. Tonight is going to be mostly awful for me…just awful. What do you want me to do, lie?
