Contraband (Universal, 1.13) is a low-rent action programmer that thousands of people will presumably pay to see this weekend and then say shit to each other on the way out. “Aaahh, it was all right…it had some okay stuff…sure. Who am I kidding? We all just sat there….waste of time…whose idea was it to see this? Mark Wahlberg…guy’s an actor, can’t win ’em all, right? Who’s the guy who played the younger brother of Kate Beckinsale? Caleb Landry Jones? Guy’s an asshole. Wahlberg saying ‘he’s family, he’s my brother in law, I gotta help him out, make it right.’ Guy’s a waste of skin, they shoulda cut him loose. And Giovanni Ribisi…Jesus! Everytime I see him he’s playing a greasy, bearded, lowlife scumbag. He needs to give that a rest. Really.”