Gladhanders Lead The Charge

If Emily (Jungle Cruise) Blunt has anything to do with it, it’s not funny — this is HE’s hard and fast rule.

Give Clayton Davis credit for at least admitting out of the gate that The Fall Guy (Universal, 3.3) is empty jizz-whizz. I proudly steered clear of last night’s all-media showing, and will mournfully submit to it Wednesday night like an Egyptian sphinx. I don’t care how many easy lays come out of the woodwork to insist how “funny” or “purely pleasurable” it is. So much of present-tense movie life is about spiritual drainage. Douse me with anhydrous butter fat, Leitch…pour gasoline, light match.