“What are these zombies of the voting booth” — i.e., the still-undecideds — “really waiting for?,” Washington Post columnist Kathleen Parker wrote on Friday. “Something they won’t find: the perfect choice. It doesn’t exist. The clear path is dappled with doubt. The telling clue is buried in the hearts of Col. Mustard, who worries about Iraq and taxes under Obama, and Miss Scarlet, who can’t get past McCain’s age and the winking wonderwoman of Wasilla.

“A friend’s late-night call cast light on the undecided’s milieu. She was filling out her ballot at home and had made every choice but one. The presidential ticket. ‘I just can’t quite bring myself to do it. I hate Sarah Palin. Help me out here.” And this woman is Parker’s friend? Why?