I once made the mistake of leaning down and hugging a red Doberman Pinscher — a dog I knew really well and had played around with several times. The fucker bit me on the right cheek and ear. That never would have happened with a Golden Retriever. You can’t really trust Dobermans, Pit Bills or Mastiffs, certainly not when it comes to kissing or hugging.

Look at those cops after the Denver newswoman, KUSA’s Kyle Dyer, is bitten by Max the mastiff. They be cool, chillin’…no worries. And look at that weather guy after it happens.