Sam Mendes is a classy, seasoned director who knows from poise and discipline, and it’s clear from the new Skyfall trailer (which I’m the last guy in the world to respond to, due to my time zone) that he’s kicked things up. But boil it down and it’s the same old shit. It’s simply been re-vitalized with Roger Deakins‘ brilliant cinematography and re-energized with Thomas Newman‘s striking orchestral score, and edited with serious pizazz by Stuart Baird, or possibly by some house guy. But calm down already. It’s just a Bond film.

Javier Bardem‘s yellow hair isn’t “bad” or problematic, as some have said — it’s just standard Bond arch-villain hair. Didn’t Chris Walken use the same dye in A View to a Kill?

And you can’t get shot and conveniently splash into a river or a bay off a fast-moving train and just, whatever, wake up a few weeks later. That’s just another example of “have him jump off a building or a bridge and fall several stores because falling doesn’t matter any more” big-studio bullshit, and Mendes knows it. Outside of multiplexes falling from 60 or 70 feet is almost always lethal, and crashing into water at almost any velocity can knock you out and break bones. The comedic surreal rules that were once used by the Wile E. Coyote vs. Roadunner cartoons have been embraced by the super-action genre, and that means check-out time for the realists in the audience. And it’s largely the fault of asshole studio executives who want to be competitive with the other action movies that ape the Coyote vs. Road Runner aesthetic. Stupid gets. If I had my way I would throw them off a moving train and into a river.