Dweeby Villenueve to Helm Next Bond Flick

Denis Villenueve and the classic James Bond brand are not congruent. Because deep down Villenueve is kind of an asexual dweeb type.

Look at him — you can tell right off the bat he’s never catted around to any degree, much less been lucky in this regard.

He’s a brilliant fellow and a first-rate filmmaker, of course, and may create something fascinating when the next Bond film finally gets underway, but Villenueve was chosen, I think, in order to put progressive women (i.e., the Jen Salkes of the world) at ease.

In the realm of imaginative movie fiction, Bond is no longer (and will never again be) a sexual conquistador figure. That ship sailed way back in the Pierce Brosnan ’90s, and was certainly a dim memory by the time Daniel Craig stepped in to the role. Nonetheless the sexual vapors from the ’60s, ’70s and ’80s (Connery, Lazenby, Moore) still linger to a certain extent, and on a gut level there’s something about Villeneuve that doesn’t quite fit the mold. That cerebral French-Canadian thing plus the dweeb vibes.

Again, I think Amazon producers know this and are saying with this hire that #MeToo-ers needn’t be concerned,as it’s invonceivable that a guy who looks like Villeneuve would even think about injecting 007 with any kind of sexual serum.

95% of the people reading this don’t know how to pronounce Villenueve’s name. It’s DenEE VEE-luhnuhv.