7:40 am: Years of movie-watching have taught me that if a new film’s reviews are on the disappointed, half-shitty side (as they certainly are for Elvis), the best thing to do, if I want to at least half-enjoy this allegedly shallow Baz Luhrmann sparkle-thon, is to swan-dive into the most negative assessments and let them cover me like liquid mud, so when I sit down with it myself (which will happen 50 minutes hence) I’ll emerge saying “hey, it wasn’t as bad as I’d expected!”