You don’t need a review of Michael Bay‘s Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen to know where it’s coming from. The soul of the film (if the word “soul” doesn’t constitute an oxymoron in this instance) is contained in the trailer‘s opening bit. Shia “no no no!” Lebouf tells Bumblebee that he wants to “talk about the college thing, okay?” And the amped-up “Bee” starts swaggin’ to the sounds of the Pointer Sisters‘ “I’m So Excited.” The mentality is aimed at mall monkeys.

But if you want a review, here‘s Variety‘s Jordan Mintzer: “With machines that are impressively more lifelike and characters that are more and more like machines, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen takes the franchise to a vastly superior level of artificial intelligence. As for human intelligence, it’s primarily at the service of an enhanced arsenal of special effects, which helmer Michael Bay deploys like a general launching his very own shock-and-awe campaign on the senses.

“Otherwise, little seems new compared to the first installment, except that this version is longer, louder, and perhaps ‘more than your eye can meet’ in one sitting.”