In order to convincingly portray Nike marketing guy Sonny Vaccaro in Air (Amazon, 4.5), Matt Damon had to either (a) fatten up or (b) wear a fat suit. (Not sure which.) Director, producer and costar Ben Affleck insisted upon this.

And I’ll tell you right now I wish Damon had played Vaccaro as a relatively slender guy. I don’t give a shit if the real Vaccaro was on the beefy side and neither does anyone else.

HE Rule #17: Never, ever fatten up for a movie role unless the intention is to look appalling or grotesque a la Robert De Niro in Raging Bull.

During yesterday’s CBS Sunday Morning interview Damon said that upon seeing the finished film his wife Luciana Bozán said, “The movie is great but you look like shit.” Why would anyone out there feel differently? Name one fattened-up performance that really worked…that really lent an extra dimension of realism or whatever. Charlie Sheen in Wall Street?…wrong.

In explaining why an actor wasn’t cast to play Michael Jordan, Affleck told CBS Sunday Morning that “the only actor who could play Jordan was a little old to play this part and we probably couldn’t afford him” — who’s he talking about? I’m guessing that Affleck was fibbing with flattery and actually meant that the unaffordable actor was Mahershala Ali, who, currently 48, is more than twice as old as Jordan during the time of the Nike deal. Who else could he be referring to? Somebody lithe and tall.

Affleck: “This is a movie about an icon, about somebody’s who so meaningful that the minute I show you somebody and say ‘that’s Michael Jordan’ you’re gonna say ‘no, it’s not’ and then the rest of the movie is fake.” Fair enough, but why have at least 18 actors played JFK in various dramas over the years? None of them got him right, not really…none of them really captured the voice or the hair or anything. But they did it anyway because the gig was there and the money was good.