My geographical inability to join in the Batman vs Superman: Dawn of Justice pile-on — 37% Rotten Tomatoes, 46% Metacritic — concerns me not. Everyone seems to be handling the task just fine without me. I’ve been smelling…okay, sensing what was coming for months. Who hasn’t?

From N.Y. Times critic A.O. Scott: “A diverting entertainment might have been made about the rivalry between these two muscle-bound paladins — a bromance or a buddy comedy, an album of duets. Batman v Superman is none of those things. It is about as diverting as having a porcelain sink broken over your head.

“In keeping with current business imperatives, what Mr. Snyder has concocted is less a free-standing film than the opening argument in a very long trial…not so much a ‘dawn’ as an entire morning spent watching the clock in anticipation of lunchtime. The studio has, in the usual way, begged and bullied critics not to reveal plot points, and I wouldn’t dream of denying you the thrill of discovering just how overstuffed and preposterous a movie narrative can be.”

Director Zak Snyder has always been and will always be toxic to me. Unless, you know, he’s eventually seized by some life-changing convulsion and turns into someone or something else. I can’t wait to pay money to see this thing next week. Wait…naah, I have to see it.