A story posted today on Philly.com reported that a 29 year-old Philadelphia man shot a guy in the arm last night during a showing of Benjamin Button because the guy wouldn’t stop talking. That’s obviously a totally unacceptable and uncalled-for act. I hope the guy who took the bullet is okay…really.

But I would also be lying if I didn’t admit to feeling a wee bit sympathetic as far as the feelings of the shooter were probably concerned. I’m more of a zap-em-with-a-squirt-gun man myself.

Now that I’ve mentioned it, that’s not a bad idea. If theatres were to sell squirt guns at the kiosk along with popcorn and drinks, far fewer people would talk during movies, for obvious reasons. Just as (and I don’t want to give the wrong impression by saying this) if people were getting shot for talking in theatres with some regularity — say, two or three times a month nationwide — you know that talking in theatres would all but cease. I’m just saying.