“I’m aware that my ass looks like a bag of flapjacks. But I’m not trying to be the best-looking broad in the world. At a certain point you start asking yourself, ‘What really is sexy?’ It’s not just the elevation of your boobs. It’s being present and having fun and liking yourself enough to like the person that’s with you. If I believed that sexy was trying to be who I was when I did Basic Instinct, then we’d all be having a hard day today.” — Sharon Stone, 57, talk to Christopher Bagley for a Harper’s Bazaar piece that (a) is about promoting Agent X, a forthcoming TNT series in which Stone will play the vice-president of the U.S., and (b) includes three attractive black-and-white nude shots. She looks pretty great.

Except, as usual, she doesn’t look like herself. Her face, I mean. Four and a half years ago I noted that she’d obviously had transformative facial work done, and the photographs by Mark Abrahams reiterate that. I’m all in favor of tasteful touch-ups but getting Zellweger-ered is surreal — surely one of the creepiest indulgences of the well-to-do-class in world history. We’re living in a Terry Gilliam movie. They look like a certain someone for two or three decades, and then they go under the knife and they’re someone else entirely. Not internally, of course, but what a metaphor!

Stone in ’06.

During making of The Quick and the Dead in ’94 or thereabouts.