Bill Maher on the royal wedding between Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, which is happening as we speak: “Enjoy the hell out of it tomorrow. Will you watch? Of course you will. A B-list actress marries a man who will never be king” — Harry is sixth in the line of succession to the British throne — “in a country that doesn’t even matter.”

From “I Take Thee, Baldie,” about Prince William and Kate Middleton’s marriage ceremony, posted on 4.29.11:

“The wedding will be a celebration of an exceptionally lame fantasy that tens of millions of under-educated, Sex and the City-worshipping, Star magazine-reading women the world over hold extremely dear, which is that they might one day luck into marrying an exceptionally rich guy from a rich and powerful family and live a life of fabulous wealth and, yes, workhorse duty for the rest of their lives. And have kids who will enjoy the same luxuries and get to to do the same thing as adults-with-their-own-kids when they come of age.”