Now I really fucking hate it. A movie aimed at money whores who ask “how much does this apartment cost?” Not to mention a matchmaker who smokes? That snippet when some angry dude says “is that my charger?” and then throws it into the kitchen sink…what is that? Chris Evans: “When I see your face, I see wrinkles and children that look like you….where does that leave us?” I kinda hate Dakota Johnson‘s breathy, inconclusive, opposite-of-Lauren Bacall voice. And the guy who says he doesn’t want a girlfriend “who’s over 20 BMI”? Isn’t that atypical? single women these days generally have a 30 BMI, and a fair amount are at 40 or over…right?

A chick flick, Materialists (A24) opens on 6.13.25. Be very, very concerned about a film from Celine Song.