A May 5th entry on Freddie deBeor’s Substack contains a letter from a faithful reader, a divorced 48 year-old mother of two who lives in St. Paul, Minnesota. The substance of the letter (verified as much as possible by deBeor) is a complaint about some online video therapy with a female therapist whose treatment was colored (or, if you will, perverted) by her adherence to critical race theory.
Excerpt from patient’s letter: “[The therapist] seemed really professional and friendly…I felt like I vibed with [her] right away. She asked me right away about sexual issues, and [that] made me feel welcomed. When I was an adolescent I was repeatedly raped by [a family member] and a friend of his. I’m not here to give you my sob story but it ruined me for years. I’ve had one bad relationship after another since and when I think back to my marriage I see so much of those moments in my husband. Anyway there’s a lot I feel like I needed to talk about, [and] I felt really encouraged and excited.
“My first annoyance (and I admit it’s only that) was with the land acknowledgments, where [the therapist] begins every session by proclaiming that we are on land stolen from the local Native population. This can’t take more than a minute each time so my rational brain tells me it’s nothing. But I can’t help thinking, ‘It’s just you and me, I know America is stolen land, I told you I know America is stolen land, and anyway we’re in cyberspace, and by the way you’re charging me by the hour.’ But it’s not really costing me anything so I kept my mouth shut.
“As our session[s] evolved, over and over again she asked me to put my trauma in perspective with those of theoretical ‘Black indigenous’ women. I was in the middle of talking about what drove me to finally seek help for trauma caused by my repeated sexual assaults when she asked if I had ‘a particular orientation’ towards my therapy. I told her I didn’t know what she means. She said something like ‘do you want to discuss your orientation towards expressing this in this setting?’ I was still confused and again asked what she meant. She told me that many women, particularly Black and indigenous women, would never have the resources to be able to discuss this with a licensed therapist, and they are more likely to be the victims of sexual assault, and how did I feel about that?
“I was really taken aback by this and struggled to respond. She rushed to say ‘this is normal…this is part of the process.’ I told her that I understood that I was, in a sense, privileged to have access to her. This seemed to please her and she began talking about her special duty to Black and indigenous patients. Before I knew it the session was over, and of course a few hours later my credit card was charged.
“That was, I think, four sessions ago. We have since returned to this theme again and again. It almost seems like a trigger for her: I use the word ‘trauma’ and she feels moved to remind me that my trauma is not as real or meaningful or important as other women’s. It felt like I wasn’t the real patient in the room, so to speak. Eventually I lost my temper and said something like ‘there are white women who can’t afford therapy also.’ I know it wasn’t constructive but I am struggling to pay for these sessions and while I know this isn’t factually true it felt like we had spent more time on the Black and indigenous women than on me.
“After I said that the whole mood changed and I knew it was over between us. She acted shocked and eventually said that I ‘wasn’t grasping the situation’. I babbled a bit for the rest of the session and it was over. Since then the last couple sessions have been terribly awkward and I hate it, but I have not had it in me yet to tell her I want to quit. But I’ve checked out.
“I understand the plight of Black and indigenous women, as much as a middle-age white woman can, and I care. I want everyone to have access to therapy, and for the record I support universal healthcare. But when I have a therapy session I want it to be about me. It has taken me a lifetime to be able to say that, and having a medical professional treat me like I’m less important than other imaginary women hurt [me], especially when I am struggling to pay her. She talks about women lacking resources but she is the one taking my resources.
“I’m writing to you because I know you take this stuff seriously. All of this makes me feel like a racist old woman, selfish and left behind…”
HE to Freddie de Boer, the 48 year-old woman in question and any online video woke therapists who strongly believe in integrating critical race theory with their patients’ treatable conditions and histories: Speaking as a 48 year-old Hollywood columnist, I would dearly love to initiate sessions with a therapist like the one described above. I would be delighted to receive this kind of treatment. I am almost salivating at the prospect. If anyone can help me find such a therapist in the Los Angeles area (i.e., someone I might be able to physically visit post-pandemic), please reach out. Thank you.