It was my bad luck to sit in front of a compulsive scribbler during a screening that I attended last night. During the entire film (and I mean during the entire three-hour running time) this asshole was writing furiously on some kind of paper pad, and noisily. Wusha-wusha-wusha-wusha-wusha-wusha-wusha-wusha-wusha-wusha-wusha…Jesus! I didn’t have the nerve to turn around and say “would you please consider shifting gears and just make occasional quick notes like most critics do and stop scribbling during every single scene“?

It was easily as distracting as sitting next to someone compulsively texting.

And then this same shlump starts loudly chuckling during the sex scenes. “Hee-hee! Hee-hee-hee!” I didn’t have the nerve to turn around and say “okay, we get it, asshole. You haven’t been laid in sex or seven years and this scene is getting to you but you’re suppressing your feelings and converting this into chuckles. We get that, you’ve made your point. Now will you please shut up?”