The Root‘s Christopher Beam and Chris Wilson have posted a list of five things that white people don’t want to do in the wake of Barack Obama‘s victory:

1. Don’t personally congratulate all your black friends. Black people are not a sports team, and Obama did not win the Super Bowl.

2. Don’t declare that you “never thought you’d see the day.” You never thought you’d see the day?

3. Don’t start crossing the street in order to walk next to a black person. President Obama is glad you support racial reconciliation, but he takes a hard line against jaywalking.

4. Don’t name drop “Dr. King.” If you absolutely must make some comment about how this is a victory for civil rights, pick a marginally less obvious figurehead.

5. Don’t use the phrase “white people” in any way that suggests it doesn’t include you. Contrary to popular belief, having voted for Obama does not make you even “semi-down.” Sorry if there was any confusion there.”