Hollywood Elsewhere’s shoot-from-the-hip evaluations regarding current superstar salaries (figures based on Christina Spines‘EW piece): (1) Tom Hanks, $25 million — deserves it unless he makes something like The Green Mile, in which case he needs to be disciplined; (2) Will Smith, $25 million — deserves it (grunt, snort) but negatives for the black Matthew McConaughey are very high among formula-averse persons like myself; (3) Brad Pitt, $20 million — deserves it only if his overseas earnings stay at Troy levels; (4) Will Ferrell, $20 million — deserves it if he’s in a blue-collar comedy like Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby; otherwise he’s not that funny, he’s an orangutan with very weird chest hair, and he can’t be in a romantic comedy (as Bewitched pretty much proved); (5) Eddie Murphy, $20 million — he’s been over for so long I can’t remember the last time anyone thought he was even semi-hot…he deserves maybe $10 or $12 million, tops; (6) Ben Stiller , $20 million — he deserves it because of what…Dodgeball?; (7) Russell Crowe, $20 million — his value went up in my book after he put the fear of God into that little Mercer Hotel bitch (anyone working in a service industry who goes “whatever” to a customer needs to be slapped around); (8) Denzel Washington, $20 million — totally deserves it, totally gold; (9) Nicole Kidman , $17 million — she’s worth less since wearing that too-cute black hat in Cold Mountain and especially since making the awful Bewitched; 9) Johnny Depp, $17 million — definitely worth it…I mean, he’s Johnny Depp!; (10) Harrison Ford, $15 million — basically over, deserves the $15 mil when and if they make Indy 4 sometime in 2008 or ’09,; (11) Cameron Diaz , $15 million — she gave her best performance in the very well-reviewed In Her Shoes but she couldn’t “open” it — what does that tell you?; (12) Reese Witherspoon, $15 million — definitely worth it; (13) Jodie Foster , $15 million — worth it; (14) Matt Damon, $15 million — Jason Bourne is worth every dime; (14) Angelina Jolie, $12 million — extremely luscious lady but I don’t get it; (15) Renee Zellweger, $12 million — no way in the world is she worth $12 million…she pushes people away from films; (15) Jennifer Lopez, $12 million — not worth it as far as I’m concerned…if she’s in it, I’m gonna make an excuse and duck out; (16) John Travoltza, $12 million — not worth it if he starts getting fat again and keeps up with that weird tennis-ball haircut.