I saw Rian Johnson‘s Glass Onion (Netflix, 11.23) yesterday morning. The movie is a “game,” and it’s fine. We all know the form — Daniel Craig‘s Benoit Blanc as a 21st century Hercule Poirot, etc. That happens, of course, although Knives Out felt slightly more…uhm, arresting. But the film is diverting enough, especially if you like the idea of woke bastards being hung out to dry.
When Glass Onion was first described it sounded like a Mediterranean companion piece to The Last of Sheila, and it still seems like that.
The well-dressed Craig is somewhere between diverting and approvable. Edward Norton‘s Elon Musk-styled character isn’t as much fun as Norton was in Birdman. Kate Hudson shrieks too often. I kept staring at the weird ripples and fissures on Dave Bautista‘s shaved head. You know going in that Janelle Monáe‘s Cassandra “Andi” Brand character will turn out to be a fearless, steely-eyed angel of justice.
I hate people who laugh loudly at anything and under any circumstance, and so I had a problem with two loud-mouthed women of color who were sitting two rows behind me. They didn’t just laugh at every single thing that could be called vaguely amusing or triggering or whatever — they shrieked their effing heads off. It got so bad that I literally turned around in my seat and stared at the two of them for a full ten seconds. I knew they would ignore me, and of course they did. Nothing was quietly amusing to these two — they screamed and squealed with laughter. Everyone in the damn theatre was flinching.
Thanks, girls — glad you had a good time.