Words can’t describe how thoroughly repulsed I am by the idea of watching yet another DCU Warner Bros. film, not to mention one that insists on torturing me with the return of General Zod (Michael Shannon)…Lord!

How do I know that The Flash (Warner Bros., 6.16) will be equal to being roughed up by gorillas? The fact that Andy Muschietti is the director, that’s how. Ten years ago I had dropped to my knees in praise of Mama, a subtle, and suggestive horror film which Muschietti directed and co-wrote (and which was produced by Guillermo del Toro). And then Muschjietti sold his soul by directing It (’15), which was aimed at morons by throwing subtlety to the wind, and then It Chapter Two (’19).

Let me get this straight: There are two Bruce Waynes in The Flash, one played by Michael Keaton and another by Ben Affleck, neither of whom are spring chickens. But only Keaton suits up as Batman…right?

Keaton’s version of Wayne hails from an alternate universe. Put another way The Flash ignores Batman Forever (1995, Val Kilmer) and Batman & Robin (1997, George Clooney), in which Keaton was a non-entity. Affleck, on the other hand\ “reprises his DCEU role as Bruce Wayne / Batman, the original version of Wayne from Barry’s timeline and the leader of the Justice League.” Which means it’s some kind of multiverse bullshit, right?