I was all cranked up and ready to cheer Ben Affleck and Matt Damon‘s Air (Amazon, 4.5), and then I saw the one-sheet…yikes!

My first honest thought was “this looks like an ’80s Cannon poster for one of their programmers.” (I used to work at Cannon in the late ’80s so don’t tell me.) It also looks like the poster for Airport (’70) or The Towering Inferno (’74).

My second thought was “where’s Michael Jordan, who, along with Damon’s Sonny Vaccaro, a hot-shot Nike Salesman, is right at the heart of the story?” The answer, of course, is that Jordan isn’t portrayed in the film, although his parents, James R. and Deloris Jordan, are front and center, portrayed by Julius Tennon and Viola Davis.

My third thought: “Wait…who’s Chris Tucker playing? Obviously not Jordan (too old) but who?”

It sends out the wrong vibes. Seriously.