The E! People’s Choice Awards — aka “the Empties” –were held last night in Santa Monica. The list of winners was pure Eloi, pure American nightmare — a celebration of the most vapid and insipid actors, celebrities and movies as well as a portrait of the spiritual vistas and values of the voters (God help us).

Typical acceptance speech by winners: “I’d like to thank all the brainless ditzoid teenage girls who voted for me…it’s a great honor.”

Did Melissa McCarthy win for her landmark performance in Can You Ever Forgive Me? Of course not — she won the Comedy Movie Star of 2018 award for Life of the Party, which many people of taste didn’t even see. The leading Best Movie of 2018 contenders were Avengers: Infinity War, Black Panther, Incredibles 2, Fifty Shades Freed and A Quiet Place. Did the morons choose Panther or Place, which would have bestowed a thin veneer of respectabilty? Of course not — they chose Avengers: Infinity War. And so on. Less than zero.