Check-in for invited guests at tonight’s Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiere will “begin at 5:00pm at the northeast corner of Orange Dr. and Hollywood Blvd,” says a Disney-generated email. The general presumption is that three theatres — the Dolby, the Chinese and the El Capitan — will screen the film more or less simultaneously at 6:30 pm. Prediction: No way showings start before 7 or even 7:30 pm. The Dolby has 3401 seats, the Chinese has 1152 and the El Capitan has 1100 = 5653 seats. If the event has been invited to capacity 5653 people are going to have to get past a team of Disney staffers checking IDs and names on iPads as well as checking bags within a 90-minute period (i.e., 5 pm to 6:30 pm). That means at least 61 guests per minute or one person per second will have to be processed. If you’ve ever been to will-call at a movie premiere you know that’ll never happen. On top of which (this is stunning when you think about it), the invite states that “no cameras, video recorders or cell phones with camera/video capability will be allowed in the theatre.” In other words no phones at all — 5600 people sitting in their seats without the ability to check messages or text or tweet or anything. How many hundreds are going to be unaware of this rule and attempt a losing battle at getting in regardless? What percentage will try to sneak their phones in? This is going to be a complete and total zoo.