Received this morning from Bill McCuddy: “Finally caught up with Todd Haynes‘ May December last night…this after reading that Owen Gleiberman and Peter Debruge have it on their Top Ten lists, and then I saw that Vanity Fair‘s Richard Lawson has it at number one.
“I’d heard it was actually bad. It’s not, but where some critics are seeing subtlety- — except for the goofy soap opera music jolts — I saw missed opportunities.
“There are definitely spoilers here so HE readers be warned.
“1. I’d have made Natalie Portman‘s character more obsessed with Julianne Moore‘s character. Parrot her more than she does. Have her dress like Moore earlier in the film.
“2. I’d have had Portman say she’s also a producer on the film and continually reassure the couple (Moore and the much-younger Bruce Melton) that they will be portrayed truthfully and sympathetically, only to have Moore find a copy of the script and realize it’s not that, and in fact borders on a sleazy takedown.
‘3. Late in the second act I would reveal that the movie Portman is supposedly making has actually been put in turnaround or cancelled altogether and Portman went to Savannah anyway. Way creepier.
“4. Instead of sleeping with Portman’s character, I would have had Melton rebuff her, fueling her anger and disillusionment.
“5. I’d have ended the film not with a scene from the real (not in my version) movie but instead from a faux-documentary about what happened when Portman’s character came down there.
“The basic idea that anyone in that Savannah-region hamlet might still gave a shit about something that happened 25 years ago (i.e., a May Kay Letourneau trauma) is a ludicrous premise. In Hayne’s version the whole family is still living with the affair. So is the whole town. They’re still buying her cakes out of sympathy 25 YEARS LATER?! Bullshit.
“The real tension in the movie should be that all the horrific attention they got 25 years ago is gonna come back. It’s long gone and over with in my version.
“Finally, and this is a small nit, but where in the hell did they get the money for that waterfront resort island house? Reading X-rays and baking Gingerbread men? Uh, no. I saw that house in the first few frames of the movie and thought ‘well, at least they sued someone like Fox News and got a lot of money’ but nope.”