“I know everyone knew Norbit was going to be a piece of shit, but I saw it last night and it’s worse than you think. It’s not just stupid and pandering — it’s borderline incompetent. I can’t recall a film I’ve seen in theaters that trumps it for badness — a hyperbolic statement, I realize, but I’ve wracked my brain and I really can’t.

“I saw it in a completely fully 500-seat theater in Baltimore, and even it’s target audience barely chuckled through it. The 6 year-old boy sitting behind me seemed to enjoy it the most. I would think maybe this was a little bit below the Wayans brothers, but as many terrible movies Murphy has made, I could never imagine he’d do something as piss-poor as this.

Spoiler: The evil-because-she’s-fat villain Raputia gets her comeuppance by having the Chinese character (also played by Murphy) scream ‘Whale Ho!’ and throw a harpoon at her asshole.

“I hate to jump on Wells’ spiteful bandwagon, especially because I think Murphy was very good in Dreamgirls (though nowhere near as good as Jackie Earle Haley), but I think this more than merits him losing the Oscar.” — Pan The Faun