Another Conflicted Cougar Succumbs to Virile Charms of Youngish Dude

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Set at a writer’s retreat in Morocco, Susannah Grant‘s Lonely Planet (Netflix, 10.11) is about a fiftysomething, semi-blocked novelist (Laura Dern) flirting with and then having it off with a 30something dude (dashing Liam Hemsworth as the bored husband of a younger female writer).

Imagine the howls of protest and revulsion if the story was about a 57 year-old male writer having a mad affair with a bored, youngish and profoundly attractive wife of a male writer. “He’s over 20 years older!…a shameless hound taking advantage of her…she has no agency in this relationship!”, etc.

The bottom line is that progressive feminist culture approves of older women being pleasured by brawny dudes with washboard abs and and rock-hard phalluses…the way of our world.

Honest confession: If I was a 34 year-old guy being flirted with by a pretty 50something woman, the sight of long, bony feet might gave me pause. I don’t know which is more problematic — fleshy, pudgy feet or overly prominent big toes with crimson nail polish. The ideal middle ground is exemplified, I feel, by Michelle Pfeiffer.

“Not Worth A Warm Bucket of Spit”

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Donald Trump’s closing statement during Tuesday night’s debate: “[Vice-President Harris] is going to do this, she’s going to do that, she’s going to do all these wonderful things. Why hasn’t she done it? She’s been there for three and a half years. They’ve had three and half years to fix the border…they’ve had three and half years to create jobs.”

Answer: Her job was to be President Biden’s smiling, ceremonial stooge, and she performed that task (including serving as the border czar) as best she could, given the inherent limitations.

Any eigth-grader who’s paid attention in government and civics class knows that vice-presidents have no agency of their own. They’re one heartbeat away from the presidency, but aside from breaking tie votes in the Senate the vice-presidency is an empty, officious, ceremonial job.

Please listen to Bobby Baker:

Like most vice presidents in this era, vice-president John Nance Garner (’33 to ’41) had little to do and little influence on President Roosevelt’s policies. He famously described the vice presidency as being “not worth a warm bucket of spit“.

Lyndon Johnson hated being JFK’s vp. (Sometime in mid ’63 he told friends that “my future is behind me.”) Ask Al Gore if he felt that being Clinton’s No. 2 was a satisfying gig. Ask Mike Pence if he felt great about being Trump’s backup. The only vp who made the job into something with real power was Dick Cheney.

Minor Moody Blues Song That Nonetheless Ranks as HE’s All-Time Fave

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[Initially posted on 4.21.21]: My vocabulary isn’t sophisticated enough to describe the alternating tempos, sudden slowdowns and shifting rhythms in “Stop” (’66), a standout single from the Moody Blues and cowritten by Denny Laine and Justin Hayward. (Or was it Laine and Mike Pinder?)

The song reportedly reached #98 in the Billboard charts during April 1966 after getting lots of airplay on NYC AM rock radio (WABC, WNEW), and then it kind of slipped away.

Relatively unknown to even hardcore MB fans — i.e., the ones who only know them from the ’67 to early ’70s period of Days of Future Passed (“Nights in White Satin”, “Tuesday Afternoon”), In Search of the Lost Chord and On the Threshold of a Dream.

I know that a lot of breakthroughs happened in ’66, and this, in its own small way, was one of them.

Selena Gomez’s “Only Murders” Work Is Emmy-Worthy?

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Selena Gomez is a multiple Emmy nominee for her conributions to Only Murders in the Building. If she wins something, great, but OMITB is a chore to watch and about as insubstantial and surface-skimmy as it gets,

Emilia Perez has two headliners — Best Actress contender Zoe Saldana and Best Supporting Actress humdinger Karla Sofia Gascon. Gomez plays Jessi del Monte, the clueless trophy wife of cartel monster Juan “Manitas” Del Monte (Gscopn) who HAS somehow never noticed that her husband was undergoing pre-surgical hormone therapy for a long period. Her character is inconsequential, doesn’t add up, etc.

That Sinking Feeling

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…that floods your system when you realize that certain canine bruthahs from Ohio may (I say “may“) have been killed, carved up, barbequed and eaten by Haitian immigrants.

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Racial Undercurrent in Pepsi Marketing

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Deadline‘s Mike Fleming is reporting that Judd Apatow has inked to direct Cola Wars. Steven Spielberg is onboard as a producer.

It’ll be a presumably straightforward, dryly humorous account of the intense rivalry between Coca-Cola and Pepsi during the mid 20th Century but mainly, I’m gathering from Fleming’s article, during the mid ’80s. The script is being written by Jason Shuman and Ben Queen.

I’m sorry but what’s where’s the fun or fascination in this saga? I’m not intrigued by the idea of watching soft-drink marketing guys try to out-hustle each other.

The only hook I can think of is the strategy of Pepsi Cola execs to focus on the African American market, starting in the 1940s.

According to a 1.18.13 N.Y. Times op-ed piece, Coke’s recipe was heavily influenced by white supremacy and it was marketed mainly to the white middle class. Throughout the 1920’s and 1930’s, the company “studiously” and purposely ignored the African-American market.

What was the first major commercial film to dig into the Coke-vs.Pepsi thing? Obviously Billy Wilder‘s One Two Three (’61). It contains two scenes that riff on the rivalry.

The second most noteworthy acknowledgment of Pepsi branding was that Pulp Fiction scene when drug dealer Eric Stoltz says that when it comes to the quality of Cholo, the Harz mountain heroin that he’s trying to sell to John Travolta, he’ll “take the Pepsi challenge” alongside any other heroin on the market.

What other cinematic references?

Wednesday Morning Cleanup

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Kamala Harris won the election last night. There’s no way that “undecided” voters (i.e., those who are generally too lazy to pay attention on a day-to-day basis) had a neutral or shoulder-shrugging reaction to the obvious dichotomy — an obviously well-rehearsed Harris sounding steady, sensible, strategic and attuned, delivering good jabs and taunts while Trump sounded triggered, defensive, impulsive and undisciplined in his constant spewing of untruths. Trump-Harris may or may not have another debate, but my clear impression is that a Harris victory is all but locked in.

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Irrational Felon vs. Focused Prosecutor

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HE verdict (11 pm): Kamala Harris put Donald Trump in his place tonight. She passed the test, more than held her own — she came out ahead. She’s going to win in November — no question. Van Jones: “She whupped him…she baited him and then she spanked him.”

Harris: “I intend to be a president for all the people. The future, not the past.” Trump: “We’re laughed at all over the world. What these people have done is destroying our country.”

10:25 pm: “Lets move forward…I have a plan…instead of constant demeaning and name-calling” or something close to that. “We’re not taking anyone’s guns away so stop lying.” Also: “Health care is a right, not a privilege. Remember what it was like before the Affordable Care Act?”

Harris to Trump #1: “You’re not running against President Biden — you’re running against me.” Harris to Trump #2: “You adore strong men instead of caring about democracy. Putin would eat you for lunch.“ 9:58 pm: Harris says many foreign leaders have called Trump a “disgrace.” Trump says Harris “hates the Jews…hates the Arabs.” Anything that comes to mind, however dubious or fraught with imagination, Trump says it. Harris is definitely keeping it more real.

9:52 pm: Trump sounds unstable, relentless, obsessive…he can’t stop himself. Harris: “We cannot afford to have a President who tries to up-end the will of 81 million people…that’s deeply troubling.” Trump quotes Viktor Orban — “We need Trump back in office.” 9:48 pm: Harris recounts her Jan. 6th exoerience, the Charlottesville hate demonstration…”Let’s not go back to this.”

9:38 pm: Trump: “I probably took a bullet to the head because of the things they’ve said about me.” Harris, clearly the more sensible and practical-minded of the two, is conveying a subdued reaction of puzzlement at Trump’s torrent of blathering lies. 9:28 pm: More with the “millions and millions of immigrants…eating the dogs, eating the cats…millions of criminals…migrant crime.” Obviously appealing to racists.

9:15 pm: Trump: “She’s a Marxist…her father is a Marxist.” Harris narrows her eyes, shakes her head, rests her chin on her right hand…aghast. Trump is going on and on…a hailstorm of horseshit. 9:07 pm: Trump bloviating about illegal immigrant hordes surging in and destroying the country, etc. Harris smirking, shaking her head, stating that Trump’s economic intensions “will explode the deficit,” explains her plan for investing in the middle-class…”an opportunity economy.”

8:37 pm: We live among morons…among millions of rural, red-state yokels who are actually intending to vote for a proven liar and sociopath who has no apparent investment in the democratic process…a power-hungry beast who is basically Viktor Orban, Kim Jong Un, Vladmir Putin…a swaggering pig in a Brioni suit and a red tie.