“You don’t need creativity to describe Park City this week,” the Salt Lake Tribune‘s Robert Kirby wrote this morning. Meaning that for sheer entertainment value, all he had to do last Saturday was cruise the streets and observe the after-chaos with Park City Police Sgt. Annette Ellis.
“The sun was up, but Friday night wasn’t over. Cops were still cleaning up the mess caused when the power on Main Street went out just as the bars loosed several thousand drunks. Also, some idiot stealing a flat screen TV from the Main Street Mall fell off the roof.
“Around 10 a.m., a guy woke and found a half-dressed drunk woman in his bathroom. Because he had no idea who she was, they argued over the fact that she was using his toothbrush. He called the cops.
“We arrived as the woman was leaving. Her Friday night must have been really busy. She had a skinned-up face, dog poop on her shoes and a blood-alcohol content still around 0.15. With the typical pick-a-fight logic of a drunk, the woman tried explaining her side: ‘I [deleted] went to a [deleted] party, OK?’ The cops let her go when no one pressed charges.
“The cops towed one celebrity’s Mercedes from a parking garage. It was unlocked and the keys were in the ignition. Inside were luggage, clothing, money and a ticket for driving 105 mph.
“I didn’t see any films, but there was plenty of entertainment. After lunch (lamb gyro for me) a dozen animal rights activists stood outside a fur shop. ‘Burn these buildings to the ground! It’s a fur war!’
“The opposition didn’t make any better sense. A few passers-by hollered that they loved animals because they taste so good. If the ability to reason is where we draw the line with our food, then we really should be able to eat those people as well.
“Sundance should give itself an award. Really, you can’t make this stuff up.”