You don’t know what the term “aural torture” really means until you’ve been in a room with someone who’s slurping soup or eating yogurt and granola out of a glazed clay bowl, or who’s stirring a powdered drink in a glass.

I’m talking about a person who won’t stop stirring the soup over and over and rythmically at that…clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink. Or who feels the need to keep stirring and overturning the yogurt-granola mash…eat, savor, swallow and then clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink. Or someone who’s poured a packet of Emergen-C into a glass of water and then won’t stop stirring it…clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink clink.

I’m telling you that after listening to these clink-clinks for the 17th or 18th time and realizing that you’re going to be listening to them for the remainder of your life on this planet…this is when the insanity virus will begin to seep into your system, and after this point it will never leave you alone.