“Here’s a presumably needless reminder that we’re all gathering at La Pizza on Tuesday, 5.13 around 7 pm or thereabouts…right?,” I said this morning in a mass mailing. “Just like last year and the year before that. The tone will be somewhat funereal this time as Cannes 2014 stands a good chance of becoming the most underwhelming in history. I weep when I think of all the films that could and should have played there. When Thierry Fremaux announced the competition titles I heard Peggy Lee‘s “Is That All There Is?” gently playing on the soundtrack. Just to avoid the usual confusion, everyone should meet upstairs in the big room.”

Esteemed critic to Wells: “Can I bring Naomi Kawase so you can tell her how much you’re looking forward to her new film (i.e., Still The Water)?” Wells to Esteemed Critic: “Okay, sure, but it wasn’t me who said ‘Naomi Kawase again‘? That was a blind quote run by Justin Chang in his Variety piece about Cannes hype and hate.’ Still The Water sounds like a snooze but all I officially said about it was ‘no comment.'”