If I’d produced ABC’s red-carpet Oscar segment I would have never in a million years hired the teensy-weensy, bird-like, goody-two-shoes Kristin Chenoweth — she stands 4’11” — to do interviews. She made just about every actress look like Attack of the 50-Foot Woman (even Reese Whitherspoon looked big) and every tallish guy (like the 6′ 2″ Bradley Cooper) look like Gulliver’s Travels.
My heart went out to poor, plus-sized Adele, who’s 5’9″ but was closer to six feet in heels, when she spoke with Chenoweth. You could see what she was thinking — “All right, put your best face on and you’ll be okay, but my God, this little button-sized pixie is making me look and feel like a moose.”
I’ve said before I’m not a fan of Thumbelina girls, and especially those who speak with those squeaky little peep-peep voices that so many ladies use these days. That’s because GenX and older-GenY guys like Seth MacFarlane and LexG/Ballsworth think that munchkin girls with peep-peep voices are hot. If the culture was decrying right now that it’s cooler and hotter to sound like Lauren Bacall or Barbara Stanwyck or Rosalind Russell, the peep-peep women would be doing whatever they could to affect a deeper, sultry-er, cigarette-smoke voice.
On top of which I don’t care for Chenoweth’s general Middle American shopping-mall vibe. “I’m a cute vivacious singer and very positive minded and up with people!,” blah blah. She’s a Christian who hails from Oklahoma (i.e., probably a political conservative) who’s basically a singer(!) and stage actress(!) and an ebullient personality(!) who’s big with tourists who wear shorts. The only thing interesting about her is that she once went out with Aaron Sorkin.