Last night TheWrap‘s Lucas Shaw reported that Noah director Darren Aronofsky was “not happy” about not being consulted about Paramount’s decision to insert a “religious disclaimer” in the Noah marketing materials. The disclaimer says that “artistic license has been taken” in the making of the film. Shaw reports that Aronofsky “knew nothing about [this] and was ‘not happy’ to learn about it in the press,” according to a single source.

Shaw reported that Paramount and Aronofsky have declined requests to comment.

Wells to everyone involved with Noah and the selling of it: What’s to be unhappy about, Darren-my-man? Paramount marketers aren’t disrespecting or disassociating themselves from you. They’re simply looking to maximize those Christian dollars…big deal. Has Hollywood ever made a Bible-based film that didn’t take artistic license? Cecil B. DeMille‘s The Ten Commandments pissed off 1950s Biblical scholars by depicting a sexual love affair between Charlton Heston‘s Moses and Anne Baxter‘s Nefritiri, and Paramount regretted this all the way to the bank.

Paramount’s religious disclaimer reads as follows: “The film is inspired by the story of Noah. While artistic license has been taken, we believe that this film is true to the essence, values, and integrity of a story that is a cornerstone of faith for millions of people worldwide. The biblical story of Noah can be found in the book of Genesis.”

A portion of Shaw’s piece: “Aronofsky has told associates he does not want to do anything to hurt the movie, but does not want to his audience pandered to or the studio tip-toeing around his creative vision. He and writer Ari Handel have contemplated a movie about Noah for 16 years. A secular, Jewish Harvard graduate from New York City, Aronofsky has [nonetheless] stepped square into the crosshairs of a Christian community to whom his stature as a director means little. What he does with a story they revere does.”

Wells to Christians who might be (or are expecting to be) offended by some aspect of Aronofsky’s film: Hollywood liberals loathe and despise you. The ones I personally know are good, modest, decent and compassionate people who love their children and mow their lawns and believe in Christian values for the most part, but they regard you as culturally retarded pond scum. Which you are — don’t kid yourself. I was at a Century City demonstration in 1988 when Orange County nutters were protesting Martin Scorsese‘s The Last Temptation of Christ, and it was all I could do to keep from throwing up. I suspect you and yours are probably cut from the same cloth. Trust me when I say from the bottom of my heart that you are the not what Yeshua of Nazareth had in mind when he started a faith called Christianity. I personally would love to see you all swept away in a great flood, but you can’t have everything.

I haven’t seen Noah, but I suspect that nutter Christians are metaphorically portrayed by Ray Winstone and the uglies who descend upon the ark in Act Three. That or this metaphor will occur to more than a few when the films opens. Same difference.