Amy Winehouse‘s toxicology tests show that no illegal drugs were present in her body at the time of her death, the AP reports. She had booze in her system, but that’s generally not a fatal condition. A Winehouse family spokesman released a statement today saying that “toxicology results returned by authorities have confirmed that there were no illegal substances in Amy’s system at the time of her death.”
So what happened then? What 27 year-old just up and dies? What 27 year-old body says, “You know something? I’m getting really weary. I think it might be time to shut down. I’ve been trudging along on the hard road of life for 27 years, and it’s a real slog, lemme tell ya.”
Just then two other bodies — one 44 years old, another 52 years old and a third that’s 71 years old — come along and shake the 27 year-old body by the shoulders. “You’ve been on this earth for 27 years old and you’re thinking about shutting down and dying?,” the 52 year-old body says. “What’s wrong with you? We’re all doing fine and we’re not thinking of quitting so what the hell, homie? Nobody dies at 27 unless they’ve been influenced by a foreign substance.”