I’d been thinking all along that Sylvester Stallone‘s Rambo (Lionsgate, 1.25) would be called Rambo IV, but the Lionsgate marketers obviously figured it’s been 19 years since the last one so who cares? The legend begins anew! When I look at the stills I can’t help but observe that, yes, Stallone seems in good shape, but being 60-something he’s naturally a little chunkier than he was 25 years ago in First Blood, the only truly decent Rambo film.

So I think of this film as Bulky Rambo or AARP Rambo or something along those lines. The calendar is the calendar, biology is biology….you can’t fight it.
Industry know-it-all to Lionsgate publicist: “So are you screening Rambo?” Lionsgate publicist: “”Oh, sure!” Industry know-it-all: “And when would that be?” Lionsgate publicist: “January 25th.” Industry know-it-all: “That’s the day it opens.” Lionsgate publicist: “Yes.” Industry know-it-all: “Is this what’s called a critics’ courtesy screening?” Lionsgate publicist: “Oh, we don’t like that term. It’s just a critics’ screening.” Industry know-it-all: “But [a Lionsgte executive] said it’s great. Why aren’t you letting critics review it on opening day?” Lionsgate publicist: “Well, it is great. We just don’t believe it’ll be celebrated by very many critics.”