I’m saying right now that I’m not especially looking forward to Jean Pierre and Luc Dardenne‘s The Kid With The Bike, which is playing in competition at the Cannes Film Festival. For one thing I don’t like movies about red-haired kids with high-pitched voices who wear red T-shirts. I don’t much care for movies about kids, period. I once had a place in my heart for this kind of thing but no longer. Especially with kids like this in the lead. I’m just being honest.

I have news for all young kids dealing with absent or abusive parents. Life is hard so you may as well grim up and deal with it and stop trying to make me empathize with your plight. I can tell you stories about my own messed-up childhood that’ll tear your heart out.