Can you believe those fluttery, 14-year-old-female fangasms the geeks were having last April and May after catching The Avengers? One of the proudest moments of my life happened (or happened to me, as I’m only a conduit for expression and not truly and finally “the author”) when I called it “corporate CG piss in a gleaming silver bucket.”

Second proudest Avengers assessment: “The problem is that Joss Whedon and the Marvel honchos and the other corporate whores who made The Avengers are too tied to corrupt, pre-realized geek-faith ‘reality’ jails and way too invested in maintaining and fortifying revenue streams. If they were truly free of heart and spirit they might…just pull out all the stops and go full whacko.”

Third proudest Avengers assessment: “No comic-book fanboy has ever explained to me the appeal of watching superheroes duke it out as such battles ALWAYS deliver the same back-and-forth. One superhero will assert temporary superiority by pounding the other and then throwing him/her backwards through a wall or a plate of glass or whatever, and then this briefly humbled combatant will recover, shake it off and pound his/her opponent and then throw him/her through a wall or a plate of glass or whatever. Repeat ad infinitum. This is all that ever happens. Have the people who write and make these films descended to the level of dumb beasts?