There are two trailer-revealed aspects of Lars von Trier‘s Nymphomaniac that have me worried thus far. One, the use of the term “the whoring bed” by Uma Thurman‘s character. And two, the possibility of having to watch (or more precisely avert my eyes from) Shia Labeouf‘s junk. Sex is all in your head and hands and olfactory glands. And in your soul. I don’t even want to glance at my own package, thanks. I happened to do that by chance when I was with a girlfriend in a lighted room with a ceiling mirror. Good God.