I decided sometime during eighth grade that attractive women looked hotter when they wore glasses, especially the black-rimmed kind. Then I saw that scene in How To Marry A Millionaire when David Wayne convinces Marilyn Monroe that she looks sexier wth glasses than without, and I knew just what he meant. Flash forward a few decades to Thursday, 7.19.12, when I saw Tony Gilroy‘s The Bourne Legacy and decided that Rachel Wiesz looks extra-double super-fetching because of the black-rimmed glasses she wears now and then in her role as a scientist.

Marilyn Monroe, David Wayne in How To Marry A Millionaire.

I’ve been watching Weisz for 15-plus years and it’s been “okay, fine, whatever” as far as her looks are concerned. She’s beautiful, of course, but we’ve known that for years so I don’t melt into my seat or turn into jello every time she appears on-screen. It’s almost like she’s my sister or my ex-wife or something. But when she put on those glasses in Legacy it was suddenly “whoa…wait a minute.”

But after searching online this afternoon I wasn’t able to find a single still of Weisz wearing those glasses in any scene from The Bourne Legacy…not one. That means she or her publicist either (a) told the unit photographer they didn’t want any taken with the glasses or (b) killed all glases shots upon submission. In other words, Weisz is apparently just as convinced that she looks like hell with her Bourne glasses as Monroe’s character was convinced she looked like hell with her glasses in How To Marry A Millionaire.

There’s no talking to women about how they look really good in a certain way if they themselves haven’t come to this conclusion first, so this is the end of it. The only men that women will even think about trusting as far as what to wear or what attitude to project or how to wear their hair or whatever are gay guys, or more particularly gay hair stylists or fashion designers. The opinion of straight guys means absolutely zip.

Rachel Weisz, director-writer Tony Gilroy during filming The Bourne Legacy.