Yesterday morning Cinematical‘s Elisabeth Rappe wrote an appropriate mockery piece about Mary, Mother of Christ, an actual movie-to-be that will open on 4.2.10, according to a 2.5 story by Variety‘s Michael Fleming and Tatiana Siegel.

Camilla Belle as Mary. Jonathan Rhys-Meyers in the dual roles of Gabriel and Lucifer. Peter O’Toole as Symeon. (Who’s that?) And Al Pacino and Jessica Lange “currently in talks” to play King Herod and Anna the Prophetess. The director is Alejandro Agresti (The Lake House, Valentin).

It’s best not to presume anything, of course, but there’s just no controlling the involuntary recoil reaction to a project like this. The thought of a bearded Pacino in royal robes…good God. What an embarassment for he and Lange both. The top gigs aren’t coming their way so they’re more or less forced, if they want to keep flush, to take gigs of this calibre. As Rappe notes, Pacino as King Herod is “in the territory” of John Wayne as a Roman centurion in George StevensThe Greatest Story Ever Told.