I’m totally down with the idea of Starbucks exec chairman Howard Schultz, an actual billionaire, running for president against fake billionaire Donald Trump in 2020. Yesterday Schultz resigned as exec chairman, effective 6.26, with his eye on new challenges. He’s obviously pondering a White House run. Schultz has the Starbucks brand recognition. He’s obviously innovative, practical minded and not insane, and he could pull away from the pack. And the rural dumbshits would’t feel threatened because he’s white, albeit half-Jewish.

Nobody really believes that Bernie Sanders can beat Trump. Everyone likes Joe Biden but he has a certain yesterday’s-news aura (not to mention that horrible neck wattle). And Oprah Winfrey has made it clear that she lacks the character and cojones to run. Somebody has to step up and start making noise about replacing Trump. If not Schultz, who?