“Six billionaires fake their own deaths and form an elite vigilante squad in order to take down notorious criminals”…bullshit. The Michael Bay stamp is just as toxic as ever — the high-velocity action aesthetic taken to absurd, over-funded, over-amplified heights. Ryan Reynolds needs to keep rolling and knocking, of course, but how does starring in a film like this not lower his basic stock rating? Shot in Italy (Rome, Florence, Siena, Taranto), the UAE (Abu Dhabi, Al Ain) and Hong Kong. I haven’t seen it, but the trailer suggests pure wankery.

Nick Clement (aka “Action Man”): “They’re putting this out DECEMBER 13th!! The insanity of a mega-budget Scorsese and mega-budget Bay coming from the same studio and separated by one month is unprecedented. It looks completely insane/stupid/retarded/amazing. PHOTO-REAL ACTION THAT ACTUALLY LOOKS NEW AND INSPIRED. And the full-deal F-bomb route, like the old days. Because it’s Netflix. And they don’t give a fuck. They gave Bay unlimited freedom to be Bay — can’t wait!!!!”