Since buying an iLIVE sound bar for $130-something and hooking it up to the 50″ Vizio, I’ve been very pleased by the added volume and the increased bass and treble tones. Then it suddenly hit me last week that the Bluray sound is ever-so-slightly out of synch. The sound arrives just a tiny bit late. People’s lips move a split second before you hear them speak, and it’s terrible.

Once you’re attuned to this tendency it becomes impossible to watch a film. All you can do is study lip movement.

So I unplugged the soundbar and it appears that without it the problem has reversed itself. The TV-speaker sound, generated by a Samsing Bluray 5700, is now arriving a split-second early — you hear the word and a half-instant later the lips move. Am I losing my mind? Maybe I am. I know for sure that this problem is pushing me in that direction.

I called the Samsung tech people and was promised that some guy would call back to help with a download that might fix things. Then I called a freelance tech guy and he said it’s probably the the fault of the soundbar and the cords connecting the soundbar to the TV output jacks. And that the cost of fixing things would be about $350 or so, and that’s just equipment.

The cords are probably analog, he said, and that slows down the sound transfer by just a bit. He said I need to use a fibre optic cable made by Toslink. And I’m going to have to get a Vizio soundbar with a wireless woofer, which will understand the impulse from the Vizio TV much better than that piece-of-shit iLIVE model.

Thank you, God. Thank you, life-in-2011. Thank you, iLIVE and the Radio Shack guy who sold it to me. Thank you all and fuck you all.