I’ve watched this early ’80s High Point coffee commercial four times over the last half-hour. I find it mesmerizing in a “so bizarre it’s great” sense, but it’s easy to look back on old ads and snicker. I have all this work to do and an interview with Gary Oldman in 65 minutes and I’m looking at this over and over. There’s something wrong with me.

High Point coffee, advertised as “97% caffeine-free,” was discontinued in 1993.