Two or three days ago the writers of five scripts where honored as recipients of the 2024 Academy Nicholl Fellowships in Screenwriting. A total of 5,500 scripts, from 80 countries, were submitted for the 2024 competition. Please scan the following quickie synopses of the five winning scripts and tell me there isn’t something in the water that’s causing strange behavior. Please indicate which screenplay you think will turn into the most painful film.

1. “Miss Chinatown”, written by Alysha Chan and David Zarif (Los Angeles, CA). Capsule description: Jackie Yee follows in her mother’s footsteps on her quest to win the Los Angeles Miss Chinatown pageant.

2. “Fake-A-Wish”, written by Colton Childs (Waco, TX). Capsule description: Despite their 40-year age gap, and the cancer treatment confining them to their small Texas town, two gay men embark on a road trip to San Francisco to grant themselves the Make-A-Wish they’re too old to receive.”

3. “Gunslinger Bride”, written by Charmaine Colina (Los Angeles, CA). Capsule description: “With a bounty on her head, a young Chinese-American gunslinger poses as a mail order bride to hide from the law and seek revenge for her murdered family.”

4. “If I Die in America”, written by Ward Kamel (Brooklyn, NY). Capsule description: “After the sudden death of his immigrant husband, an American man’s tenuous relationship with his Muslim in-laws reaches a breaking point as he tries to fit into the funeral they’ve arranged in the Middle East. Adapted from the SXSW® Grand Jury-nominated short film of the same name.”

5. “The Superb Lyrebird & Other Creatures”, written by Wendy Britton Young (West Chester, PA). Capsule description: “A neurodivergent teen who envisions people as animated creatures, battles an entitled rival for a life-changing art scholarship, while her sister unwisely crosses the line to help.”